Why 9 and not 10? who KNOWS?!?
Here are the best things I bought this year, in order of how good they looked arranged in a grid…
1. Cards with swears in them — nothing says thank-you like the F-word sent in a cute little package. Would it kill you to send a real card every so often? Phenix Paper Co
2. Art Lessons — a little word of advice, don’t casually mention you’re an artist or I’ll make you teach me everything you know about art using a personalized curriculum that dumbs everything down for me which is exactly what I did to my poor friend Philip. I may have lost a friend, but I gained collage skills. That there’s what you call a lose-win situation.
3. Clarisonic Smart profile — now now, get your filthy mind out of the gutter this is a device for your FACE! Did you know that Clarisonic’s new device reverses signs of aging? They have something like a brazillion patents on this little handheld device. You use it to massage your face for a few minutes every day and BOOM, instant youth. Srsly, people have complimented me on my skin more times in last month than ever in my life! I can control time, people!!
4. Weekend in Venice Beach sans kids – I love my anchors but sometimes you just want to go into a fitting room by yourself.
5. A toiletry bag that wasn’t a gift with purchase – Metamorphic Gear is a Seattle company that makes these apocalypse-proof Dopp kits for corralling all your shit. And they make me feel like a proper grown up, no offense to the years of Clinique floral pouches that populated my gym bag for the past 20 years.
6. An hour of gym time each week – it’s where I coach (mainly) women through a circuit workout and it has become about more than just push-ups. Anyone can do push-ups. We are a crew. Also, it’s a safe place for me to use my loud voice. Thursdays, 12pm. Bring your loud voice.
7. Pool Membership- sometimes your old joints can only take so many jump squats before it breaks. Listening to my doctor is the best thing I’ve ever done.
8. Shrill by Lindy West – this book changed everything I thought I knew about feminism, size, women and rape culture. I thought I knew, but I didn’t. Fair warning: she swears a LOT and speaks very candidly about vaginas.
9. Dusty rose with grey sole Nike SF Air Force 1s – to be fair, you could insert a photo of any of my sneaker purchases in here because I love all my children equally.
Ok, now you guys go. what’d you love this year?