I’m about to start over using the phrase “save your bullets” so consider yourselves warned. I’ve always considered myself an outlaw (pew pew) so when my orthopedic surgeon* told me today I had to pump the brakes on fitness, he needed to speak to me in a language I could understand.

Me: so you’re saying no load bearing exercise? But squats are probably ok. Just no jumping.

Dr.: um no. You have a horrible amount of swelling. We can’t do a single thing until that swelling is under control.

Here’s a photo of the horrible amount of swelling (which is a classic case of denial if you’ve ever seen one):

I realize now that this isn’t a normal ankle

Me: so when you mean nothing, you mean nothing nothing?

Dr.: you can work your arms if you’re sitting and your core if you are lying down. Otherwise nothing until we’ve dried that ankle out.

Me: but rowing is ok? And cycling too right?

Dr.: Listen to me, save your bullets for regular life.

Me: OHHHHH! NOW I understand.

And so my stubborn self is going to save the few bullets I have in this cankle for whatever is the opposite of squats and jumps. I’ve got a couple weeks of some serious rest day brags ahead of me.

(* for those that are interested, the arrow points to a small bony spur that has developed and is rubbing up against my already inflamed Achilles tendon. It’s called a Haglund’s Deformity and super common in hockey players because of the tight skates. I feel like this injury is super Canadian and I have mixed feelings about it! On the one hand, I like being stereotypically Canadian eh, but on the other hand, what the eff??)

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